"He's like a 68 year old Jeff Brantley; he has Lee Smith's eyes and John Wetteland's arm."
(Jim Bowden, via Nationals Enquirer sources, 6/22/2008)
WASHINGTON - JUNE 23: According to sources with no direct knowledge of the situation, the Washington Nationals have signed television talk show host Maury Povich to a major league deal after Povich's impressive performance throwing out the ceremonial first pitch before Sunday's game between the Nationals and the Texas Rangers at Nationals Park, which was followed by another meltdown by the Nationals bullpen. Povich was at the game for the dedication of the press box to his father, the late Shirley Povich. According to baseball sources, Povich will pitch out of the bullpen. Nationals pitching coach Randy St. Claire may or may not have told a baseball source: "He didn't leave it out over the middle of the plate, unlike some of the [guys] we've been throwing out there recently. He executed his pitch." Nationals General Manager Jim Bowden reportedly gushed: "Think: John Wetteland. Without the firecrackers." Povich unavailable for comment.
Meantime, sources with no knowledge of the situation confirmed that the Nationals are looking for additional bullpen help, and are actively pursuing a deal with former Washington Senators reliever and WWII vet Bert Shepard, who passed away last Monday.
(Photo by Greg Fiume Getty Images)