Nats Enquirer

Mr. Perky Can't Control Mr. Lerner's Patience.

 

"I'm not going to be able to make everybody around here Mr. Perky... All I can control is to manage this team to the best of my ability. And then if whoever's patience runs out, that I can't control. I really don't worry about that. ...I  think it would be bad if I started whining and complaining about not having a job for next year. So I can't control somebody else's patience. My patience will be there."
(Manny Acta, via Washington Times/Chatter, 2/15/2009)

Manny tells Nats: Take this job and shove it!

Well, not exactly. But Manny Acta isn't worried that his bosses gave him a no-vote of confidence this offseason by not picking up his 2010 option; Jerry Manuel is keeping his seat warm with the Mets this season anyway.

For what it's worth, Mr. Perky says this year's model is the best team he's had since his arrival. What IS that worth? 

(AP Photo by Luis Alvarez)

A potpourri of misplaced commas and run-on sentences...

For the second year in a row, we've contributed a Nats Spring Training preview to the Spring Training '09 site. Head on over and get a chuckle at our gross oversimplifications and painful attempts at forming complete sentences.

Here comes the sun!

Pitchers and catchers report!

It's 39 degrees and a little cloudy in Washington this morning, but it feels more like 70 degrees and sunny...and we're even feeling a little bit (gasp!) optimistic!

ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE! JIMBO'S AWKWARD PASS?

 

Oh no he didn't!

According to sources, Jim Bowden definitely did not make a pass at Adam Dunn's wife during yesterday's news conference at Nationals Park introducing the Nationals new slugging designated hitter left fielder/first baseman. He was just giving her flowers.

Meanwhile...

**Nationals dot com reports that the Nationals "will no longer pursue" Orlando Hudson:

General manager Jim Bowden declined to give a reason why Hudson will not be a member of the team.

Three reasons come to mind: 1) blame the cheapskate owners! 2) Jimbo doesn't want to part with a draft pick 3) It's a simple negotiation ploy - deal could still happen.  At this point, we're perfectly comfortable going into the season with some combination of Anderson Hernandez, Alberto Gonzalez, and Ronnie Belliard at second (sorry, Willie).

**Tim Redding will have to compete with a 22-year old rookie for the fifth spot in the Mets rotation.

**Good news! MASN announces expanded HD coverage.

**Boz is really happy about Dunn.

(AP Photo by Gerald Herbert)

Adam Dunn: Masher of baseballs, straight-faced jokester.

 

"I can sit here with a straight face, and say this is where I wanted to be."
(Adam Dunn, via Nationals Journal, 2/12/2009)

Nationals Fans: Let's rejoice and give thanks once again that the economy is in the tank!

It's okay Adam, you don't need to say that... we understand.

Nats introduce #32, and although some reports say Dunn is a sure thing in LF, Washington Times' Ben Goessling reports that the skipper won't commit to anything right now:

Manny Acta wasn't biting on where Dunn will play, only saying that the left-hander will get time at both first base and left field during spring training and that the Nationals will make a decision on his permanent spot toward the end of camp.

Guess it all depends on NJ's health; or if NJ gets dealt.

Quick, before we forget: someone break out the StanSpeak Translator and see what happens if you run Adam Dunn's introductory remarks on through it!

(AP Photo by Gerald Herbert)

WELL DUNN!

 

Good things come to those who wait: Nationals sign Adam Dunn to 2 year, $20 Mil. deal!

Jimbo Gets His Red On, once again (but we're not complaining, this time). Nats finally, mercifully, get that Big Bat.

It's exactly like we said last week: Adam Dunn isn't coming here. Gosh, it feels good to be wrong every now and then! Spring is in the air!

(AP Photo by David Zalubowski)

Stan Kasten, Eternal Optimist.

 

Turn that frown upside down!

Stan wants to give you lots of reasons to be optimistic and excited about 2009, Nats fans. You are customers who like new and exciting things! From yesterday's Q&A with Mr. Kasten on MLB.com, Stan addresses the team's impatient fan-base, who apparently voice their frustration on "the message boards": 

Nationals dot com: "According to the message boards, the Nationals fans are impatient when it comes to the lack of free-agent signings. Why is that the case?"

Stan Kasten: "I think it's always the case. All fans want their teams to be the best they can be. All fans are customers who like new and exciting things. Free agents are one way to get new and exiting things, so I understand that. But also, young players are new and exciting. Our hope is, whether we sign free agents or not, that by the time Spring Training (is over), we will give our fans a lot of reasons to be optimistic and excited about the 2009 team."

Our hope is the same as your hope, Stan...Hooray! Pitchers and catchers report Saturday!

(p.s. don't forget the Post's chat with Collin Balester, today at noon)

(Photo of Stan Kasten on TV by The Nationals Enquirer Staff)

Finally, that elusive big bat comes to Washington this offseason!

 

"I think his lawyers did a good job for him. It's over, and he doesn't incriminate himself in terms of use."
(Tom Buchanan, defense attorney, via Baltimore Sun, 2/10/2009)

...make that a big bat back in the day. *wink* *wink*

Miguel Tejada becomes the first player who can't say no to coming to Washington this offseason.

Uh-oh! Miggy is charged with lying to Uncle Sam back in '05.

He's got an 11 a.m. date tomorrow in U.S. District Court in Washington.

Meanwhile, you know things aren't going well this offseason when you can't even convince ancient Ray Durham to come play for you.

(AP Photo by Pat Sullivan)

Still bitter.

We still can't let it go for some reason. The Fort Worth Cats have re-signed Aaron Crow, while he waits around trying to find things to do to keep busy before he reenters the draft in June. Via the Ft. Worth Cats website:

The Cats have re-signed 2008 first-round draft pick Aaron Crow, it was announced today. The right-handed pitcher appeared in one regular season game last season, working a scoreless inning in El Paso in his professional debut. He then made two relief appearances in the post season, allowing no runs and no hits in two innings of work.

Crow, out of the University of Missouri, was the ninth overall pick in the 2008 Major League Draft by the Washington Nationals, but was unable to reach an agreement with the Nationals before the Aug. 15 deadline, leading to his signing with the Cats. He is expected to re-enter the draft in June. 

Ok, for once and for all, it's time to move on, right? Just tell me there's no way they'll mess up the Strasburg thing, okay?

Still waiting for that consolation prize.

 

Who's it gonna be? Yeah, you know.

Okay, Jimbo, now that it's perfectly clear that Adam Dunn doesn't want to come to Washington, and your cheapskate bosses don't want to overpay for Manny Ramirez for a season or two for some reason, and even  Stan's favorite bargain basement option (Andruw Jones) is off the market, who is your 2009 consolation prize? Come on! Give it up! Bill Ladson at Nationals dot com hinted ever so subtly at it this morning; let's recap:

But don't underestimate general manager Jim Bowden. With so many quality free agents still on the market, Bowden could sign a left-handed hitter at a reasonable price. In 2006, the Nationals were able to sign infielder Ronnie Belliard during Spring Training.

So, next question(s): When is the Ken Griffey Jr. press conference, and who loses playing time until he goes down with a season ending injury in May?

(Photo of Jim Bowden on TV by The Nationals Enquirer staff)