Nats Enquirer

Miss Iowa would like to see Miguel Batista in a swimsuit.

(Katherine Conners, a.k.a. Miss Iowa 2010, hanging out with a couple of guys roughly Miguel Batista's age. Photo via Turn for the Judges.com)

[Update 7/29: Miss Iowa to throw out first pitch at Nationals Park Friday night.]

Apparently Katherine Conners, Miss Iowa 2010, is not too thrilled with Miguel Batista's post-game comments comparing himself to Miss Iowa after being booed Tuesday night at Nationals Park, reports Sean Keeler of the DesMoines Register.

Most nights, just the thought of Miguel Batista pitching for the Nationals is bad enough. But the thought of Miguel Batista in a swimsuit? It's almost too much to take:

"I know I can throw a pitch or two! The question is, can Miguel Batista walk the runway in a swimsuit?"
(Katherine Connors, via DesMoinesRegister.com, 7/28/2010)

According to Adam Kilgore/Nationals Journal, Batista claims his comments were misinterpreted, and will send flowers to Miss Iowa as an apology.

Just one more time, here's the quote from Batista, via Washington Post:

"Imagine if you go to see Miss Universe, then you end up having Miss Iowa, you might get those kind of boos. But it's okay. They have to understand that as an organization we have to make sure that the kid is fine. You don't want to expose him out there and screw up his future."
(Miguel Batista, via Washington Post, 7/27/2010)

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Miguel Batista has nothing on Miss Iowa 2008

Miss Iowa 2008, Diana Reed, performs in the talent portion of the Miss America pageant in the video above. Miguel Batista is an accomplished poet and writer, and has pitched 16 seasons in the Majors. Can Miguel Batista twirl a baton like Miss Iowa 2008? Maybe not. But could Katherine Conners, Miss Iowa 2010, pitch for the Washington Nationals (h/t to @ misschatter)? Some nights, maybe?

"I know I can throw a pitch or two! The question is, can Miguel Batista walk the runway in a swimsuit?"
(Katherine Connors, via DesMoinesRegister.com, 7/28/2010)

Now, prior to last night, the greatest quote in Nationals history was uttered by Julian Tavarez, when he compared signing with the Nationals in March 2009 to hooking up with a 600 lb. J-Lo.

We'd be remiss if we didn't note for the record that Miguel Batista's post-game comment in which he compared himself to Miss Iowa, and Stephen Strasburg to Miss Universe, has now rendered Tavarez's quote as second best. One more time:

"Imagine if you go to see Miss Universe, then you end up having Miss Iowa, you might get those kind of boos. But it's okay. They have to understand that as an organization we have to make sure that the kid is fine. You don't want to expose him out there and screw up his future."
(Miguel Batista, via Washington Post, 7/27/2010)

Awesome. Oh, and please don't ask why we went looking for Miss Iowa footage on YouTube. It hasn't been easy around here the day after Strasmas became Scratchburg. We're coping as best we can.

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Steve McCatty Talks About the Strasburg Scratch

Video above from 106.7 The Fan of Steve McCatty discussing the Scratch Heard 'Round the World Tuesday night. The way McCatty tells it, he made the decision to shut down Strasburg after he couldn't get loose? But to hear Mike Rizzo tell it, Rizzo pulled the plug:

"Stephen was having trouble getting loose in the bullpen, so I pulled the plug on it. Precautionary move. Again, erring on the side of caution. I just didn't want him going out there when he was struggling to get loose in the bullpen pregame."
(Mike Rizzo, via Nats Insider, 7/28/2010)

Guess it doesn't matter who made the decision to pull the plug, right? Just that someone did.

Meanwhile, Ben Goessling and Adam Kilgore  both pondered the exact meaning of the phrase "No changes" in reference to Strasburg's MRI results Tuesday night. Did Rizzo mean: "No changes and he's 100% healthy"; or "No changes, he's not completely clean - never has been." Hopefully one or both asks the follow up question to Rizzo tonight.

Blah. For some reason, we can't shake this feeling of getting kicked in the gut after seeing Batista make his way to the mound last night. It doesn't help when the name "Stephen Strasburg" is being mentioned in the same breath with names like: John Patterson, Brian Lawrence, Chad Cordero, Matt Chico, Jordan Zimmermann, Scott Olsen and Jason Marquis. And Shawn Hill. Never forget Shawn Hill.

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The Nightmare Before Strasmas

 

(Miguel Batista is not Stephen Strasburg, but he was an unlikely hero on Tuesday night. AP Photo.)

"Imagine if you go to see Miss Universe, then you end up having Miss Iowa, you might get those kind of boos. But it's okay. They have to understand that as an organization we have to make sure that the kid is fine. You don't want to expose him out there and screw up his future."
(Miguel Batista, via Washington Post, 7/27/2010)

Miguel Batista saves Strasmas.

Now, if he could only do something about that inflammation in Strasburg's shoulder.

Nationals 3, Braves 0: Nightmare win. Strasburg scratched, Batista enters to boos but exits to cheers.

Oh yes, there was a game last night, but the only thing that matters is the health of Stephen Strasburg's arm. Good news, though: there's no structural damage, and Rizzo's calling him day-to-day. Via Washington Post:

The Nationals consider Strasburg day-to-day after a body of medical tests revealed right shoulder inflammation and soreness but no structural damage, Rizzo said. An X-ray came back negative, and an MRI exam taken before the game ended showed no changes from the MRI the Nationals performed on Strasburg immediately after they signed him last summer -- no damage to his labrum or rotator cuff.
(via Washington Post, 7/28/2010)

So why don't we feel encouraged by the news?

Time to shut down Baseball Jesus for a game? Two games? The season? See you in 2011!

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Scratchburg

 

(Stephen Strasburg, scratched from his Tuesday night start against the Braves. So not good. Picture via MASN/MLB.com)

"He was having problems getting loose in the bullpen, so I pulled the plug on it -- precautionary move. I just didn't want him to go out there when he was struggling to get loose in the bullpen. There is no shooting of pain or anything like that in his shoulder or elbow. He was just struggling to get loose."
(Mike Rizzo, via Nationals.com, 7/27/2010)

Now that we've had several hours to sober up a bit after drinking excessively upon hearing the words "Stephen Strasburg scratched" and watching in horror as Miguel Batista emerged from the bullpen to start in place of Stephen Strasburg Tuesday night at Nationals Park, we're ready to talk. Almost.

Over at NatsInsider, Mark Zuckerman posted the full transcript of Mike Rizzo's session with the media Tuesday night in the wake of this nightmare. We've dissected and parsed every word at least 50 times at this hour. The good news is: "there is no shooting pain or anything like that in his shoulder or elbow." But there are other kinds of pain besides shooting pain, right Rizzo?

*sigh*

Just for once, can't this team catch a break?

Maybe. MASN's Ben Goessling Tweeted a little bit of good news around 9:45 PM:

Rizzo says Strasburg passed two doctors' tests; x-ray and MRI show no damage, only little inflammation. Still day-to-day.  (via MASNBen, 7/27/2010)

So there's no "damage". Just inflammation. And panic on the streets of NatsTown.

Blame it on the Post.

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On the Tenth Day of Strasmas

 

(Stephen Strasburg. Photo by Getty Images.)

"I was told [before Strasburg arrived] that he's got a little edge to him. He doesn't like hitters taking liberties in there. I think he's been very respectful to the opposition and respectful to umpires, but at certain times he's had that look on his face like, 'I'm not happy with what's happening here, and someone's going to pay.' Not in terms of throwing at guys, but in terms of, 'I'm going to dial it up here.'"
(Jim Riggleman, via Washington Post, 7/26/2010)

Strasburg v. Heyward I

Once again, all I want for Strasmas is a win. Because it's Strasmas again, and once again the Nationals turn to Stephen Strasburg to stop a losing streak. Seems like the same old story every five days nowadays.

Here's Bobby Cox on Strasburg, via MLB.com:

"He's as advertised. He's dynamite. He's something really good for the game of baseball, something that special. He's got maybe the best changeup for a first-year player that I've ever seen. Everybody talks about his fastball, but his changeup goes straight down at 90 or 91 mph. It looks like some of the guys' best heaters going straight down."
(Bobby Cox, via MLB.com, 7/27/2010)

Plenty of intriguing storylines for this one. Including: Strasburg. Strasburg vs. Heyward I. Strasburg vs. Hanson. Then maybe the biggest non-Strasburg storyline: does Jim Riggleman bench Adam Dunn for his little visit with Bob Uecker in the Brewers radio booth on Saturday?

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What Adam Dunn and Bob Uecker talked about in the radio booth on Saturday

 

(Adam Dunn has a future in the broadcast booth. Photo by Mike McGinnis / CSM.)

"I could care less if I get in trouble for going up and seeing my guy after he had heart surgery. I'll pay my fine."
(Adam Dunn, via Associated Press, 7/26/2010)

Since Dan Steinberg is apparently on vacation, we figured somebody needed to transcribe Adam Dunn's 2nd inning visit with Bob Uecker in the Brewers radio booth on Saturday in Milwaukee. So we did, listening back to the end of the second via MLB Gameday Audio. Here's our attempt at transcribing the exchange, insert your own laugh track throughout -- everyone had a good laugh (except Jim Riggleman):

Uecker: You know, Corey and I have been talking about Adam Dunn over the last couple of days...and I've told you yesterday he's one of my all-time favorite guys. One of the best.

And yesterday I was talking about how big Adam Dunn and uh -- swing and a foul, through the glove of Pudge Rodriguez -- I was talking about how big Kameron Loe and Adam Dunn are, and what a tandem they'd be. ...and I said he was the only guy in the National League -- Low and inside, he walks Manny Parra to load the bases --

I said Adam Dunn was the only guy in the National League that had tree branches growing out of his arms. He's huge. And uh, tonight, we were talking about Alberto Gonzalez wearing Adam Dunn's glove. Or shoe I say. Or it could be a shoe I don't know.

Guess who just popped in the booth? Adam Dunn. One of my all-time favorite guys. Forever one of my all time favorites. How you doing pal? What are you? What are you you doing tonight?

Dunn: I'm just, ah, getting to listen to your broadcast. Sitting in there watching, I heard you talking about my glove. Wanted to confirm that it WAS my glove.

Uecker: Rickie Weeks skies one on the infield. this is gonna be an easy play... for Desmond. ...And the inning is over. What are you doing? You're not playing tonight? You gonna hang around?

Dunn: Not playing tonight. I just heard you know, up here talking about the glove, and I wanted to confirm that it was my glove.

Uecker: I gotta ask you one thing before you leave. Are we going to go fishing one time or not? You've been telling me for years you're gonna go out fishing with me and one of these days we gotta do it, you know, before you either you hang 'em up or I take a dixie.

Dunn: I was worried about you when I heard about you, man...want to make sure you don't go dying on me. Don't go dying on me...

Uecker: Adam Dunn. I love it. He's one of my all-time favorites. Two complete. Brewers 1, Nationals nothing.

So there you have it. Jim Riggleman can't be happy. And as much as it hurts to say it: Riggleman has no choice but to bench Dunn for Strasmas Tuesday against the Braves. Then again, maybe Dunn would just take that opportunity to pay a visit to the Braves radio booth? Then again, maybe he'll be shipped out of town for Edwin Jackson by then.

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Milwaukee's Worst

 

(The Nationals limp home after a brutal 3-7 roadtrip. AP Photo via Daylife.)

"We've got to play a lot cleaner baseball. It's ridiculous. We've got to catch the ball. We've got to take some pressure off of our pitchers."
(Willie Harris, via Washington Post, 7/26/2010)

Swept in Milwaukee

Brewers 8, Nationals 3 (Sunday): Ross Detwiler's triumphant return, not so triumphant. More Errors!

Brewers 4, Nationals 3 (Saturday):A bad ending to a sac fly party.

Meanwhile...

Dunn in the Brewers' radio booth during Saturday's game? Trade his ass to Detroit! 

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Michael Morse can't pitch, unfortunately.

 

(Steve McCatty points out where Michael Morse's 2nd HR of the game landed Friday night in Milwaukee. Photo of TV/MASN by Nationals Enquirer staff.)

Brewers 7, Nationals 5: Plenty of blame pie to go around. Heaping plates for Stammen, Clippard, Burnett.

Michael Morse can't do it by himself, people! 2-3, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs.  Yet double-switched out of the game in the 6th inning for good measure.

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One more year of Rigglemania

 

(Jim Riggleman will be back at the helm for the Nationals for at least the start of the 2011 season. Photo by UPI/Alexis C. Glenn Photo via Newscom.)

"Yes, he will be back next season. He has done a terrific job. We have a great relationship. He is a baseball rat. I can't beat him to the ballpark. One of these days I'm going to beat him to the ballpark. He runs at 8:00 a.m. and he is at the ballpark by 11."
(Mike Rizzo, via Bill Ladson/Nationals.com, 7/23/2010)

A little job security and a sigh of relief for Jim Riggleman.

On Nationals Journal, Adam Kilgore points out that the upshot is that Rizzo's decision removes any possibility of the Nationals buying him out for $100,000 at the end of this season.

And this means another year of managing every game like it is the 7th game of the World Series. Jim Riggleman doesn't buy into the old saw: "It's a marathon, not a sprint." And he's a runner, too.

Also, the topic has been raised elsewhere in the past, but it is pretty awesome that Riggleman's agent is named Burton Rocks, a name that just screams "porn star" or "WWE" or "private detective". Here's Mr. Rocks, via Nationals Journal, apparently talking about how the tenuous contract status has been weighing on Riggleman:

"Absolutely. Whenever somebody's future is a little uncertain, there's pressure to win. ... Jim wants to be the Nationals manager. He doesn't want to be a manager. There's a difference."
(Burton Rocks, via Nationals Journal, 7/23/2010)

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