Fat Tuesday! More fat guys in Chase Utley shirts than you can shake a stick at!
For the second night in a row, Nationals Park was invaded by throngs of fat Phillies fans in XXXXL Chase Utley jerseys. Enquiring minds want to know: what the hell is it about the 6'1", ~200 lb. Utley that makes 5'6", ~300 lb. fat guys go out and purchase his jersey en masse?
(Photo of Phillies fan in a Chase Utley jersey by The Nationals Enquirer staff 5/19/2008)
You gotta be some skinny punk, ain't ya? Utley (or Utz as I like to call him, mmmmmm Utz potato chips, so tasty and salty. Man I'm hungry. What time is it? Ugh, only 9:45? Man I had breakfast 2 hours ago, and I'm starving. Maybe I'll just have a slim fast shake. But Geno put some donuts in the break room, I'll just have 1. Mmmmm glazed and powdered, so good. I wonder if we're having brats for dinner tonight...) What was I writing about again??
Posted by: Utley4Ever335# | May 21, 2008 at 09:41 AM
Hey Nat-Boy. Ever go to a Phils home game?
Yeah, well you're right -- the diet-unconscious sorts (see above) roll into the park after consuming their 2nd Pat's Cheesesteak of the day (but being careful not to drip the precious juices on their Utz shirt) and head right over to the Bull's BBQ Pit to work on their next heart attack. However, the discerning pervert will tell you that once the fat-baffles pass by, you can be treated to a plethora of young lithe college-age type women in their Utley shirts and short shorts. So yeah... we take the good with the bad.
Seriously... I think you need to do some research on this -- come join us for a weekend game.... Heck, wear your Nats togs if the spirit fills you...just leave your David Wright jersey at home.
Posted by: Decoy | May 21, 2008 at 02:23 PM
I sat behind one of these guys at a game in RFK late last year...my friend took a poor-quality (but hilarious) phone-cam video of his celebration when the Phils wrapped up the win:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wYFYWFzkqM
Posted by: Kevin | May 21, 2008 at 02:38 PM
Yeah Kevin, that sure was the most hilarious video I've ever seen.
Posted by: Matt | May 21, 2008 at 03:14 PM
too bad the nats arent interesting enough to keep your attention during a game. too bad they arent interesting enough to sell out a brand new stadium in a city that fought for them to come there. how many fat guys did you see in nats jerseys ? probably 0, i wonder where the nats top jersey selling player places on the list of highest selling jerseys. i cant think of anyone id want. you should count how many skinny pimple faced white dorks are in ryan howard jerseys and talk about how funny that is.. jackass
Posted by: bobbyspectacular | May 21, 2008 at 03:47 PM
"you should count how many skinny pimple faced white dorks are in ryan howard jerseys and talk about how funny that is.. jackass"
awesome. bobbyspectacular, I think you're on to something there...that IS damn funny! But are you telling me you wouldn't want a Rob Mackowiak jersey?
Posted by: The Nationals Enquirer | May 21, 2008 at 04:49 PM