Julian Tavarez gets dumped by his 600-pound J-Lo.

 

(AP Photo. Julian Tavarez: Looking for love in all the wrong places.)

"They made the right decision. I just wish I would have done a better job - that we would have done a better job. I'm a professional. I just didn't do my job."
(Julian Tavarez, via Washington Times, 7/20/2009)

Strap on your beer goggles: Julian Tavarez, DFA.

And so, as we close the book on the Julian Tavarez Era in Washington, let's take a moment to revisit the greatest quote in the brief history of the Washington Nationals, issued by JT after signing with the team at the end of March:

"Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavarez said then. "When you go to a club until 4 a.m. and [are] just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me, this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's four in the morning. Too much to drink. All the girls look hot. So the Nationals are Jennifer Lopez to me."

And now, the 600-pounder has kicked Julian Tavarez to the curb. Sad. In truth, it sounds like Julian led quite a lonely existence during his tenure with the Nats (via Washington Post 7/20/2009):

In Washington, Tavárez lived in a single room at the Capital Skyline Hotel, just a few blocks from the ballpark. He kept no friends in the city, and did little else but wake up, work out, prepare to pitch, and pitch.

And recently, pitch very, very, badly. Godspeed, Julian Tavarez. Best of luck to you as you strap on your beer goggles and try to pick up your next 600-pounder. She's out there waiting for you, somewhere.

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Well, at least J.D. Martin has gotten through two innings.