Nats Enquirer

In other Washington Nationals Hot Stove news: The Michael Morse Beast Mode Collection

When we last checked in with Michael Morse this offseason, he was getting engaged and blowing sh*t up in Taiwan (with his bat, of course), while wearing a moped helmet.

And now, just in time for the Holidays: The Michael Morse Beast Mode Collection, via 22Fresh. Photo of the ad, and a description, via Morse's FB page:

Hey guys! Exciting news: I've teamed up with the boys at 22Fresh! They will be launching the "Michael Morse Collection" in the new year but are allowing pre-sale for the following items from the line right now! Call the toll free number (1-800-949-1746) or email [email protected] to reserve yours and have it shipped out as early as Monday morning.

How many days until Spring Training?

(See also Nationals Inquisition, who broke the "news" last week.)

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Nats non-tender Doug Slaten

Christmas comes early in NatsTown: Nationals non-tender Doug Slaten.

Sadly, Slaten was at his most productive in 2011 during the 77 game stint he spent on the DL with left elbow ulnar neuritis.

Meanwhile the Nats tender contracts to:  Tyler Clippard, Jesus Flores, Tom Gorzelanny, John Lannan, Michael Morse, and Jordan Zimmermann.

Up above, relive the magic from June 2010 when Doug Slaten was called up from AAA Syracuse, and Debbi Taylor interviewed him. We suggest you turn down the sound on this one.

Godspeed, Doug Slaten: We'll never forget your ability to allow inherited runners to score.

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With Pudge gone, will Bryce Harper switch from #34 to #7?

(A Bryce Harper #7 Nats jersey. Image via shop.MLB.com)

While you're sitting around waiting for Mike Rizzo to do something this offseason (the B.J. Upton Watch is ongoing), and counting down the days until Spring Training...it's time to turn attention to other burning questions. Like, now that it's all but certain Pudge Rodriguez isn't coming back to Washington to serve as a backup for another year, any chance Bryce Harper switches from #34 to #7 in honor of his idol, Mickey Mantle?

"I always loved Mickey Mantle," Harper said of why he chose No.34. "Three and four equals seven."
(via Nationals Journal, 8/26/2010)

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Plan C? Farewell to Collin Balester and his mustache.

(Up above, maybe the first photographic evidence of Collin Balester's mustache, circa February 2010. Photo courtesy of DC Sports Bog -- via CSN Washington's Kelli Johnson)

Godspeed, Collin Balester. Welcome, Ryan Perry.

So maybe Mike Rizzo's first move of the offseason really was all about roster flexibility. Or maybe, after a lost week in Dallas, it was Mike Rizzo trying to prove to himself he could still swing a trade. But can Perry grow a 'stache like Balester? Doubt it.

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Plan A dashed, no Plan B, on to Plan Yu

With Plan A effectively squashed by the Marlins at the Winter Meetings, should Mike Rizzo put some of that money saved on not making any batshit crazy deals in Dallas to good use on a bid for Yu Darvish, now that he'll be posted? Of course he should!

Up above is a 9+ minute Yu Darvish 2011 strikeout highlight reel, in Japanese, in which Yu tops out at 155 (km/h, of course). Might be all 276 of his 2011 Ks included: but we lost count around 35.

So, Mike Rizzo: will the Nats get in on the Darvish bidding war?

"Strategically, that doesn’t benefit us to announce whether we’re going to bid or not on him. We’ve scouted him. We like him. We recognize his ability levels."
(Mike Rizzo, via Nationals Journal, 12/8/2011)

In other words, yes.

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Here's MASN's Adam Jones bubblegum ad. Also, the Nats are interested in Jones.

(Up above, video of MASN's Adam Jones Defining Moments gum ad from 2010...not nearly as annoying as the old Who? Wil Nieves spot...but right up there with the worst MASN ads of all time.)

Remember  that little phone call we told you about last week? You know, the one where the Nats placed a call to the Orioles to ask about Adam Jones?

Here's none other than Jim Bowden (consider the source!) confirming the Nats' interest, via Twitter:

Hey Dan Duquette: how about that 3-for-1 deal: Jones for Detwiler, Bernadina, and Lombardozzi? Sound good?

Well, this much we know: Mark Buehrle is a Miami Marlin. Time for Plan B? Or Plan O(swalt)? Or just Plan L(ivo)? Or just go with the arms you've got? Regardless, Rizzo has an arm or two to deal, even if he doesn't sign another FA starter...

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In other Washington Nationals Hot Stove news: The key to the CF puzzle is currently lounging poolside in the Bahamas.

(There's Bryce Harper relaxing at a pool on Tuesday at Atlantis in the Bahamas. That Harper-Luke 1:37 tattoo: "For nothing is impossible with God" - photo via his brother, @BHarp45.)

If Davey Johnson has anything to say about it (based on his comments to the media Monday night, reiterating his comments on the radio in DC at the beginning of November), the Nats might already have their CF answer in house (Werth) immediately, just as long as Rizzo is willing to keep an open mind on one Bryce Harper to start 2012.

"I think this guy’s pretty mature. I don’t look at him age-wise like I probably should. But I think he’s going to make this spring very interesting."
(Davey Johnson, via Nationals Journal, 12/5/2011)

Mature? Clearly Davey hasn't been trolling YouTube for Bryce Harper clips or stalking his Twitter feed for the last year. But still. We're with Davey -- here's hoping Harper forces Rizzo have an open mind this spring.

But if Mike Rizzo really is intent on signing a centerfielder this winter...

...and if Mike Rizzo really does have a connection with Mark Buehrle (must be something about his aura) and bigger IF Mike Rizzo is able to land Buehrle and IF Dan Duquette is willing to at least listen offers for Adam Jones (or is Jones off limits?), don't forget about that little phone call we told you about last week that *someone* with the Nats apparently made to the Orioles to ask about Jones in the last month. If Nats land Buehrle, then the Nats have what Duquette wants: a surplus of good, tradeable, Major League ready arms.

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In other Washington Nationals Hot Stove news: Mike Bacsik can't spell worth sh*t.

Monday night has been a magical night for ex-Nats on Twitter. First, a Dmitri Young/Robert Fick sighting.

And then Mike Bacsik delivers the goods. I mean, come on, man. Jason Worth, Strausberg, and Zimmerman all in one Tweet? It's almost like he did it on purpose. Grooved one, even. Oh, wait...

And then old friend Jim Bowden debunking the rumor of the night: that the Nats offered a 6-year deal to C.J. Wilson. We're hearing Jim is right: No offer to Wilson yet. Nats are focused squarely on Buehrle...and Oswalt not really a serious consideration.

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In other Washington Nationals Hot Stove news, Da Meat Hook is almost as skinny as Robert Fick now.

While you're sitting around wondering if it's a good idea for the Nats to offer C.J. Wilson a sixth year (yes, it is, even if it isn't true), we proudly present the above photo (Photo via @cheistWTOP): indeed, it's a Christmas Miracle!

Yes, that's a shockingly skinny Dmitri Young second from left at the Winter Meetings in Dallas, flanked by LaTroy Hawkins and WTOP Washington's Craig Heist. And then there's everybody's favorite symbol of the Jim Bowden Era in DC on the far right, none other than Robert Fick.

And so Da Meat Hook has supposedly lost 70 pounds. Can we chalk this one up to that miracle masseuse, too? Heard this: Mike Rizzo is looking for a veteran left handed bat on the bench...no, not you, Fick.

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Here's hoping the Nats leave the Winter Meetings having accomplished more than what's on their whiteboard

Hey! That's Mike Rizzo and Mark Lerner in the Nationals suite at the Winter Meetings in Dallas. That's a pretty hefty to-do list on the whiteboard in the background, huh? Photo courtesy of @NationalsPR.

Maybe, just maybe, judging by the look on Lerner's face, Rizzo is outlining his latest batshit crazy move. And Lerner approves...

Meanwhile, here's Rizzo on no-trade clauses, centerfield, etc., via Mark Zuckerman/Nats Insider.

(Post headline ripped lovingly from this Tweet by @kevinreiss. Feel free to add your own photo captions in the comments below.)

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